Gaslighting. The definition of gaslighting per the Oxford Dictionary is “manipulating someone using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.” This applies to the victims thoughts, perception of reality, and memories which typically lead to confusion, loss of confidence  and self esteem. This of course then leads to emotional and mental instability and dependency on the one doing the manipulation. This dependency is known as co-dependency which in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary means “a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person manifesting low self-esteem and a strong desire or approval has an unhealthy attachment to another often controlling or manipulative person.” These two words are the foundation of verbal and emotional abuse. This was my life, a life bound by these two words. Unfortunately it took me over 30 years to realize what was happening to me. And now, after finally separating myself from my abuser, I am on a slow road to recovery. It has been a long and at times a lonely road to travel but the key for any good recovery is a good support group, positive surroundings, a good counselor, and for me a strong faith in God. Reading self-help books and journaling are two really good tools as well. There are also two other predominant outcomes from verbal abuse is anxiety and depression. Prescription medication along with some coping techniques and again counseling work well with aiding in the recovery process. But in order to begin your recovery you must take the first steps and that is realizing you are being abused, leave the abusive situation, and then ask for help and listen to those helping you. Codependency is very hard to overcome and I would like to discuss that further in my next blog.